Thursday, January 3, 2013

Are you feeling alright”
I am not startled when I hear the unfamiliar but soothing voice when I snap my eyes open,  following the sound that seems to hover close by me.  Please don’t let it be what I think it is?  Please.  Please.  please.   My eyes fail but slowly  someone comes in and out of focus.    I must still be dreaming as I frantically rub my eyes, not believing what I’m seeing in front of me -  Mr. Irresistible the one who seemed to slip out of my fingers all night long is right in front of me,  in the flesh.  His gorgeousness hits me even harder now that he's kneeling only a couple feet away from me; blessing me with his perfection, flawless light skin,  and piercing hazel eyes.  Urges and a craving seem to swirl inside of me the closer that I am to him. I don’t fight them, it feels amazing.  He exudes a confidence and appeal unlike anyone I’ve met, putting me at ease instantly.
“I’m fine.   What happened,?” I squint absently in his direction trying to remember what put me on the ground.
You passed out.  I’ve been waiting here ever since to see if anyone would return for you.   Are you ill?”
“No.  I reply with a nervous laugh.  "How long has it been?"
“Long enough.”  His eyes brush over me “You were having some sort of  dream or nightmare?”
“Why do you say that?” I ask, slightly embarrassed that he witnessed me at my weakest. Oh god, did I do something stupid?
“You mumbled something and grabbed for your necklace.”
“Oh, I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.  I guess it’s effecting me more than I thought,” I reply, uneasy after exposing a little too much about my mental state.
“Well, I hope that whatever is causing your anxiety disappears, we all have our moments once and awhile.   Sleepless nights aren't enjoyable.” He laughs out loud, a low sexy laugh that draws me in even more. 
I agree” I smile despite the fact that our conversation is hitting too close to home.  “I think I should find my friends, they’re probably wondering where I am.”  I attempt to get up but my knees are still fragile and I collapse back to the ground.
“Please…I think it is best that you sit for a few more minutes just to get your bearings.” He counters extending his hand but quickly withdraws it like he just touched a hot stove .  I can tell he wants so much to touch me the fact that he doesn’t disappoints me, I would have willingly let him.  I’ve never felt this way for someone in all of my 18 and a half years, not for the lack of trying   Maybe this is what love at first sight feels like?   
“I usually don’t take advice from strangers but I will make an exception this time.”  I blush, sterilizing all of my inappropriate thoughts as I admire his face.   “Good thing that you happen to come out when you did.”  I slowly wrap my arms around my chest as the night air hits my skin imagining him taking me in his arms to keep the chill away and much more. I want him badly. 
 “Yes, this turned out to be a stroke of luck for me.   I came out in the nick of time to save a damsel in distress.” His eyes are warm and welcoming sending a burn that runs the length of my body. Does he even  know the effect he has on me right now? He probably has this effect on all the girls.  I take more of him in knowing that this will probably not last much longer, that it will end and I’ll never see him again.
“Deep in thought?”
 “Oh. No.   I reply, slowly shaking m head.  “Just thinking that I need to get back to my friends, their probably wondering where I am.” I kick myself for saying that. I’m completely fine being here with you.   I make no move to leave as heat spreads to my cheeks.  His eyes haven’t left my face.  
 “Are you sure?  He shifts nervously. “Let me walk you back in.”  There’s an urgency in his voice.  Looking past him I wonder if there is someone else watching or listening to us.    He calmly reaches for my hand lifting me from the ground; the feel of his skin is cool as he gently pulls me up placing his other hand under my elbow for support each contact point on my skin’s electrified by the contact with his skin.  Excited by the touch of his hands I lose my footing and fall crashing into him; he immediately wraps his arms around me.  Before it all ends I quickly inhale every inch of him feeling his chest tighten under my fingers “I’m sorry for being a clutz,”  I gaze up at him as he loosens his grip around me but his eyes linger on my lips  as he takes my face in his hands. 
“Don’t apologize” he whispers his breath, like cinnamon, kisses my face.  My breathing hitches in my throat my heartbeat accelerates the temptation to kiss him is difficult to fight. I stand on my toes, hesitating for a second to gage his reaction before I gently brush my lips on his, he eagerly accepts my advance, lowering his face he forcefully presses his lips against mine placing is hand tenderly on the small of my back drawing me closer to him. I feel his body tense when I wrap my arms around his neck so ready for more of him, more than a kiss.  “I..I can’t.” He politely pulls away running his finger the length of my cheek, there’s a look in his eyes that I can’t quite distinguish.
“What’s wrong?  I am so sorry if I put you in an awkward position.” I flush taking a step back not sure if I’ve crossed a line.
No, don’t think that.” he replies as he anxiously glances over his shoulder.
“Do you feel it?   I break, my words suspended in mid air. “I just cannot shake this feeling that I know you from somewhere?”
I………I’m not sure…he stammers, eyebrows furrowed, he's clearly having a hard time trying to explain.
“Is everything okay? Are you in trouble?
 “No, not yet. But I will be if…”his words fade, as he jams his hand through his perfectly messed up hair.
“If what?”
I can’t do this, anymore.”  His smile is sincere and genuine and all I can think about is kissing him again. “I don’t want you to lose your friends and mine are waiting for me too.”  His body language tells me that he doesn’t want to  break away from the connection that has pulled us together.
Will I ever see him again?  My hands are limp at my sides, my heart drops in my chest thinking that this was just an impulsive onetime thing that will never evolve into anything and I can't bear it. I don’t want to seem too eager to ask the question but then if I don’t I won’t see him again.
“You look concerned.  I will be fine and so will you.”  He takes a step back, it feel like he’s tearing away a piece of me.   “Do you believe in fate?”
“I don’t know.  I murmur.  “I never really thought about it but I do believe in happy endings.”  I reply thinking of all of the stories my sister used to read to me.
“I do.   Certain things happen that are meant to be, that are written in the stars,” his words float above us as he gazes up into the sky.  “We will see each other again, I believe we will see each other again.” He murmurs.
“How are you so sure?  My heart skips a beat and my body tingles anticipating his touch again, seeing him again.
Trust me, just trust me”  He lowers his eyes  as he steps further away from me watching as the night swallows him whole knowing that the only thing that is keeping me from running after him is his words – Trust me.

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